princess_dizzy: (Nao)
Title: Subaru
Band: Alice Nine
Lyrics: Shou
Music: Tora and Saga
Kanji: Rui
Romaji: Rui
Translation: Rui

Notes: I will praise the VANDALIZE album till the day I die. Cause that album is flawless and perfect. Subaru is the Japanese name for the star constellation The Seven Sister, also know as Pleiades.

At that moment, it hurt to breathe, even while searching in the mirror

I couldn't feel my existence

With sadness on my cheek, I look out the window

In the night sky, there are stars that will not shine alone


I couldn't notice, even my own heart's sound

It had become another's rhythm, and would stay without changing

I searched for the meaning of living, a light seemed to fade



I can't forget the warmth from your hand, that I had ascertained


Nights of shedding tears are past, in the midst, I open my hand

I can fly, if I only close my eyes...if we could both wish for that


The overlapping Pleiades that don't shine alone

I'll smile along with you again, without changing


[so sweet pain...

be as one, forever & ever] 

princess_dizzy: (Default)
Song: Mugen - Electric Eden -
Band: Alice Nine
Lyrics: Shou
Music: Saga
Kanji: Rui
Romaji: Rui
Translation: Rui

Notes: [Lyrics in brackets are already in English]. Center Gai is a bustling street in the Shibuya district of Tokyo that is the birthplace of youth fashion trends.

To be dyed by the heat wave that has descended

Adorned by a darkness, a evergreen garden


Hanging lights quake

If morning should come, a ephemeral, transient dream


A letter with no address, who will open it ?

Loneliness that cannot be erased even if it were to vanish

The thing I wished to grasp with these dirty hands

Embracing a gentle pain


[Human who has the same pain.

They meet at hidden place of usual day called

[electric eden]


The streets as dawn comes, even if we were to frown

Someone's tomorrow is going to change




"Here, I'm waiting for the right time, with you"


An interval between dream and mystery

The Center Gai* we lost ourselves at



princess_dizzy: (Default)
So, when Alice Nine's song BLUE FLAME came out, and I got the pleasure of watching the PV on A9 Channel, I noticed that each of them was feeling a similar feeling of despair, and with that I created a special series of small one-shot fan fictions that were based on my interpretation of the PV. No names are mentioned, instead it's all left to the mind of the person who is reading. Before you read these, I recommend that you watch the PV for BLUE FLAME - Type B - before reading these, as it will make more sense (even though they are written enough that you don't have to actually watch the PV, but trust me, watching it is in your benefit). Without further ado, all of the fics will be be here, starting with Nao and ending with Saga.

- NAO -


Jars, glasses, and pots crashed to the ground, shattering into thousands of tiny shards. There was a scream as the figure clutched at the sides of his face, a small beaded necklace hanging from in between slender fingers. Everything was surely falling apart. He could feel world falling apart. Everything he knew, fading away slowly from his sight. The person he loved most no longer existed in his life. All this unbearable pain welling up inside of his heart. He felt like screaming louder still. Like simply dying. Nothing could compare to the pain he felt right now. No, nothing could come even close to it. All he wanted was to crawl in bed and start crying.

He could feel his eyes wondering across the floor, over the shards of broken glass. His eyes found their way to the wall where there was a mirror. A giant crater was in the middle of it, the glass shattered in different directions. Blood flowed down thru the cracks of the shattered mirror. A mirror stained with crimson blood. The crimson blood of pain. He squeezed his hand and his eyes shut, willing the pain to leave his chest that had begun to ache with loneliness. The upturned table in the corner, which lay beneath the mirror caught the drops of blood still freely flowing off of the mirror.

Everything hurt now. Everything reminded him of the other. The person who he loved. Memories played like old scratched records. An old but well known tune. There was blood dripping silently off his hand. Tears fell from his eyes as he collapsed to the floor, silent cries escaping his lips. He clutched at his chest with his bloody hand, staining the shirt he wore. Nothing in this moment was right. Everything was wrong. There was so much pain. He felt like he was falling apart. A forgotten flame of passion. A flame extinguished by a cold an chilling wind.

A blue flame. Never to burn again. 
Lost passion. Eternal tears.
Pain beyond measure.

A abandoned blue flame.

- TORA -

Dark was the night, heavy with the smell of rain. Lights flashed and passed his parked car where he sat, hand on the steering wheel, mind racing at a million miles per hour. Nothing was clear. Everything was a blur as the rain drops rolled down the windshield. He couldn't understand anything. Why was this happening to him? He hadn't done something wrong had he ? All these thoughts were whirling wildly around within the confinements of his mind. Sanity was slowly slipping thru his fingers with every second that passed. Rain came down harder as he stared thru the windshield, still wondering if all of this was simply a bad dream, or was it really a harsh reality. 

Pitter patter, pitter patter.

A pair of lights cast themselves over the car, only momentarily though. They lit up the car as he leaned back in his seat, taking  his left hand off the wheel, but still letting his right hand still linger over the wheel. His fingers danced over the top of it, running against the leather slightly. What was his life coming to? He can't just sit here sulking forever. If he did that, he'd surely waste away to nothing in no time. And yet, at the same time, he wanted nothing more than to sulk, to waste away forever into nothingness. Trying not to give into the pain was taking it's toll on him. He found himself closing his eyes, fighting back the tears trying to break thru.

Pitter patter, pitter patter.

The rain fell down on the car, the only thing breaking the silence. No words could escape his lips. No matter how he tried, he couldn't make the pain stop. The tears were trying to push their way from behind his tightly closed eyes. His chest was tightening under the stress of the situation, his lip arching upward as he inhaled a breath, trying with all his will not to start crying. All his might was focused on not crying at this moment in time. The rain was still coming down hard, still rolling down over every inch of curve in the car's structure. Almost as if the rain was telling him to go ahead and cry. Like the sky was going to cry with him. Without even thinking, he reached up and wrapped his fingers around the small beaded necklace that hung from the rear view mirror. Opening his eyes, the tears slowly rolled down over his cheek.

This was it. They met their end.
Nothing else would ever exist between them.
Their blue flame no longer burned.


He could feel her leaning against his body, her breath grazing against the lobe of his ear. The room light rather dimly, the air heavy with the smoke from the cigarette place between his fingers. He was out of it. His mind was shutting off. He was the one who called her here to begin with. Her. His rebound whenever he had a breakup. He called her. So why was he starting to feel like shit? Normally he would have no regrets when it came to this sort of thing. 

He'd break up with someone, he'd call her and then they'd have their bit and she'd leave. She was his rebound. He'd never regretted calling her up in previous situations. So why was he regretting it all now? Maybe it was because somehow, all the other relationships before this one were nothing. Like this breakup hurt him more because he was actually in love this time. Opposed to just pretending to be in love. His mind was beginning to realize the fine line between what love actually is and what love isn't. And up until this recent breakup, he had never truly been in love. Perhaps this was the reason for his rethinking of this current situation he was in.

He felt her finger lightly run across the underside of his jawline and down across his chin. Why was he doing this? A rebound girl, to mask the pain? Sure it seemed right at the time he originally thought about it. But he was rethinking it all. Eventually he knew where it would lead. And he wasn't sure he was going to stop it from reaching that point. Even if he knew he'd regret his decision in the morning, he didn't care right now.
Gently he glanced over at her, his eyes meeting with hers. She knew. He could tell just by the look in her eyes. She knew tonight would end like every other time he'd called her up. They'd have their fun, and she'd leave. And that would be the end of it. And yet, he knew when everything was over this time, the pain would surely still be there. Unlike before where the pain was gone. No...this time the pain would not be likely to leave. She was moving over to his other side now as he still stared straight ahead, his cigarette still burning between his fingers. Her fingers traced from his chin up under the left side of his jawline now, tilting his head upward and back in the process. His brain was aching with pain. How long was he going to live this way? There was no way he could keep doing this over and over again. 

Eventually it'd all have to stop.


His cigarette had long gone and burned itself down to the butt, leaving it extinguished. Butterfly kisses were slowly being placed to his neck and collar bone. He felt himself shutter as her breath grazed across his skin. She knew he was thinking, she was going slower than they normally would. Normally things would be done and over already. But this was not the case this time around. It was hard to focus when he had so much to think about. So much to contemplate. He felt around on the floor for it. For the pendent. He found it and snatched it up, lifting it up in front of his face. Furrowing his brow, he stared at it for few moments before casting it aside. 

He was unsure what would happen after this night. The pendent slowly fell from between his fingers, falling silently to the floor with a dull thud. There's no stopping where this is going. He might as well just let it happen and deal with the repercussions in the morning after the fact.  Closing his eyes, he let her lean into his touch, his head falling back. Her fingers trailed their way across every inch, every curve of his body, drawing barely audible moans from his full lips. One hand snaked it's way around her shoulders while the other found it's place at her hip. She had seated herself between his legs. He allowed his hand to trail up the side of her body and around the front to her chest, her lips attached to his neck, nipping and biting lightly. His head still craned backwards as he felt tears well up in his eyes as her hands found their way to his belt buckle now. Gently she undid his belt. Years of begin his rebound girl meant that she need not ask permission to remove any of his clothing. Tears rolled down his cheeks silently as his eyes closed, her fingers dipping slightly under his now exposed boxers.

It felt like the beginning of the end of everything now. 

- SHOU -

How long had he been laying there now? A day? Months? Years? He was pretty sure it was a long time. Seems like all he did was lay in bed now, his heart heavy still. The pain seemed to worsen as the days went by. And all he could do was lay there and play with that stupid pendant. Thinking if he played with it long enough, if he hoped and prayed long enough, that this would all be some terrible dream, and he'd wake up from it soon enough. But every time he'd close his eyes, then open them again, reality was there. 

This was no dream. It was real.

Lazily he rolled over onto his stomach, still holding the pendant in front of him. Tilting his head he let it dangle loosely from his slender fingers. His eyes traveled across his dark room to the only source of light, a few burning blue flames. Like the flames on a burner. What happens when they go out? Will that mean the only light left in his life will be gone? Will that be the end of everything? Sighing he managed to crawl to the floor, leaning his back up against the the edge of his bed. The hood he wore hung over his face as his lowered his head in a bow. It was like was getting weaker. Like loneliness was winning. What do you do when the darkness gets the best of you? Do you fight, or do you give in? Its up to person who's facing it at the time, but for him, he had no energy to fight. No will to continue. If he couldn't be with the other, he saw no point in living. He'd rather die without the other than live another day filled with unspeakable pain and unbearable loneliness. He pulled his knee up to his chest, resting his arm upon his knee, still allowing the pendant to dangle from between his fingers.

Have you ever heard that someone can die of loneliness? If the heart aches enough. If the soul and mind are sad enough. If the person feels destroyed enough, like there is nothing left. No hope. No future. Then, they may die. Die of a lonely heart. Die from being alone. Thanks to all the tears and all the pain. What a terrible fate. And he knew it was happening to him at this very moment. There was nothing left for him. Everything fades away. Nothing lasts forever.

His head fell to the side, his hand became limp. His eyes slowly closed. The flames extinguished themselves almost instant as the pendant fell from his hand landing with a small 'clang'. 

This was the meaning of truly being lonely.

- SAGA -

A cold draft, a silent breeze drifted throughout the room. His knees were beginning to go weak. He could feel everything taking effect. How much longer did he have now? A few minutes or a few hours? He wasn't sure. Silently he pressed his back against the wall again, slowly sliding down it, raising his hands and pressing them to the sides of his face. He was waiting for the night to end. To end with him fading away into nothing. Into darkness. This is what the last few months had come to now. The same routine. He was finally giving up. Giving up everything. The will to live was gone. The will to do anything no longer existed.


The wall was cold. Cold and damp. He wasn't sure of anything anymore. He wasn't sure how long he'd locked himself in this room. How many times he'd slid down this wall, hands pressed tightly against the sides of his face. He wanted so badly to cry, but it's like no matter how hard he tried, there were no tears. No tears that would come. His eyes had dried. Or maybe they were never able to cry to begin with. Maybe his body didn't want to cry. At this point all he had to do was fade away. And there would be nothing left of him. The pendant lay abandon in a tank across the room. With a stagger, he crawled over and pulled it from the water, one hand pressed against the glass. His eyes traveled over the fine detail of the pendant. This was all he had left now. And even this wasn't much anymore.


His eyes began to feel heavy as he made his way back to the middle of the room. Papers inscribed with ancient text littered the floor. Heart heavy with pain, soul tattered and torn to bits, he laid down on his back. The pendant still remained in his hand. This was it. Surely it had to be. The end of everything. He'd finally put everything to an end. After this nothing of him would exist anymore. His wish to simply fade away, it was happening. He leaned his head back, eyes looking and tracing the lines of the roof of the room. It was all ending. Every little thing was finally ending. Maybe this way, by simply, fading away, he'd finally be able to be at peace.

Thus the soul of broken man, fades away with the wind, never to be seen again. 
A smile that faded over time
Forever a broken heart.


princess_dizzy: (Default)

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